Morrissey wins Bad Sex in Fiction prize

He’s used to acclaim and hero-worship, but Morrissey has now picked up a most unwanted accolade – winning this year’s Bad Sex In Fiction award for his debut novel, List Of The Lost.

The competition was stiff (no pun intended), but the judges said they were swayed by an “ecstatic scene” in the former Smiths frontman’s novel involving two of the lead characters.

Mozza’s book, which was panned by critics when it was released earlier this year, contains the lines: “Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, shouting and screaming.”

Another passage included the Stretford-born superstar writing: “Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”

Other lines include: “(They) pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil.”

mozza3The iconic singer, who went down an absolute storm during his sell-out gig at the Edinburgh Playhouse in 2008 (his last visit to the Capital), was unable to attend the ceremony due to touring commitments.

Morrissey was also unavailable for comment, but some 400 guests did show up at the aptly-named In & Out (Naval & Military) Club in London on Tuesday to toast him in his absence.

List Of The Lost beat off competition from a varied shortlist, which included Joshua Cohen’s Book of Numbers, George Pelecanos’s The Martini Shot and Erica Jong’s Fear of Dying.

Previous winners of the prize – established by The Literary Review in 1993 – include Melvyn Bragg, Norman Mailer and AA Gill.

Last year the award was won by Ben Okri for Age of Magic (Head of Zeus).

No stranger to controversy, 56-year-old Morrissey is practically a recluse who makes no bones about his hatred of the press, and has long been a target of paparazzi and regular fodder for the tabloids.

The morose crooner is, however,  obsessively worshipped by his fervent fan following.

Since first appearing on Top Of The Pops in 1983 wearing NHS specs, a hearing aid and with a gladioli hanging out his back pocket, he has became a most unlikely icon.

The combination of his lyrics and the emotive, innovative guitar-playing of bandmate Johnny Marr turned Manchester band The Smiths into one of the most influential groups of all time – tracks like This Charming Man, What Difference Does It Make, Panic and Girlfriend In A Coma becoming instant classics.

The Smiths split up at the height of their popularity in 1987, after which Morrissey went on to forge a hugely successful solo career, penning hits like Suedehead, The Last Of The Famous International Playboys, Everyday Is Like Sunday and First Of The Gang To Die.

Words: Gary Flockhart